Comments on: Finding My Voice Again: A DV Story

By: Mary Ellen Latela

Mary Ellen Latela — Fri, 09 Jan 2015 18:10:48 +0000

I have lost my voice several times in my life, but the deepest loss was most recent. After divorcing the abusive husband – who stole the kids away – I was very alone. I kept writing. I also kept working at jobs which paid the rent but which took the life out of me, for example, substitute teaching, a special kind of purgatory – no matter how bad your day, you go home without homework, have your migraine, and wait until the next call. I was living in Maine, had a devastating (to me) realization that I could no longer drive because of a retinal problem, and moved to the Midwest, near to my daughter. I could not write for almost five years, just could not. I had ideas, a few pages here and there, but nothing that worked. I thought my voice was lost forever. And then I went back into therapy and addressed the in-between times of my history as a victim of family abuse, from babyhood, through married years, and into my senior life period. I started to deal with the overall pattern of never taking care of the little girl who survived it all. Finally, I started to take care of myself, and that led to caring about myself, and that led my back to the white paper whic

By: Carin

Carin — Thu, 08 Jan 2015 14:54:56 +0000

In reply to Beth.

Beth,

Thank you for commenting. So glad the voice is being heard.

Carin

By: Beth

Beth — Thu, 08 Jan 2015 12:24:38 +0000

resonates loud and strong…the love notes…the cycle…when i started drawing…he hated it…he had taken my earlier art work under the guise of being godly and smashed it on a roadside…i thought that was the best thing to do after all he is a godly man…i was his queen…today it has been 14 years…i too do photography…and the voice is being heard…

By: Here Comes The Sun (Finding Love, Grace and Acceptance) | Matt Bays

Here Comes The Sun (Finding Love, Grace and Acceptance) | Matt Bays — Thu, 08 Jan 2015 03:39:40 +0000

[…] **Read more of Carin’s Story HERE […]

By: Carin

Carin — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:35:45 +0000

In reply to Karen McAndless-Davis.

And, thank you for commenting.

I imagine your work in counseling has been healing for you. Your passion to help stop the cycle is inspiring. For years, I knew something was “off”, but it wasn’t until I started reading stories similar to mine that things started to make sense.

Thanks again, Karen, and thanks for the twitter follow! My tweets are pretty intermittent, fyi!

Carin

By: Karen McAndless-Davis

Karen McAndless-Davis — Wed, 17 Oct 2012 21:45:39 +0000

In reply to Gill Wyatt. I echo what Gill says. This is excellent and is so helpful for the reader. I survived an abusive relationship myself and have been counselling women in similar situations for many years. Carin, you managed to put into words what is hard to put into words. Thank you for this good work!

By: Carin

Carin — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 12:10:48 +0000

In reply to K.P. Dawson.

Thank you, K.P. You’re right – change doesn’t always mean an ending.

“When I let go of who I am, I become what I might be.” Lao Tzu

Carin

By: K.P. Dawson

K.P. Dawson — Sun, 14 Oct 2012 20:18:34 +0000

Thank you for sharing this story. The little details really made it come to life, made it into something that resonates with all of us, whether our situations are similar, comparable, or completely different. Change is always frightening. It’s good to have a reminder that it doesn’t always mean an ending.

I particularly liked this line, “I wait eagerly to see what I am going to say.”

By: Carin

Carin — Sun, 14 Oct 2012 17:04:53 +0000

In reply to Danielle.

Danielle,

You’re welcome. I, too, am inspired when silence speaks. Greater awareness is necessary to break the cycle.

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Carin

By: Carin

Carin — Sun, 14 Oct 2012 16:47:35 +0000

In reply to Gill Wyatt.

Gill,

I agree, putting it to paper helps so much…it is doing (italicized) something with the dysfunction…sorting it all out and remembering no matter how powerless you might feel, it is there and available to create change in your life. And, then the potential to help someone else gives the struggle purpose and somehow makes it all redemptive.

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Carin