Comments on: I love my writer’s workshop, but…

By: Katherine Hajer

Katherine Hajer — Sun, 09 Aug 2015 13:33:38 +0000

I can see a writer’s group going that way, but mostly I’ve experienced a variation. There will be one person who Knows How to Run Everything, and the rest of us have to comply with their decisions — or else. In the last group I was in, this was a woman.

I volunteered to coordinate — coordinate, not “lead” the way she did — a collaborative side project. She would call me up at eleven at night, insisting I do this or that lest the project fall to pieces — which it did anyhow, in part because of her interference.

Somehow she saw my unwillingness to obey as a sign I needed improvement. I cut off contact when I caught her instructing mutual friends to tell me I needed to change what colour clothing I wore.

I really don’t think my time in that group helped my writing much, but it was great for character observation!

By: Nyla Nox

Nyla Nox — Sun, 09 Aug 2015 03:31:13 +0000

I think it’s very brave to speak out about your personal experience. I’ve been to groups like that and found it very frustrating.
For me, the purpose of a writers group is to share writing and support each other through the difficult journey of a writer’s life.
Pontificating and off-topic ‘strutting’ doesn’t do that for me. I want to meet other writers who are serious about their writing. I want to talk about narrative strategy and suspense, I want to read excerpts from books that I will never write.
I’m not sure if a women only group is the solution although I’ve had very good experiences in women’s writers groups. It can be really problematic to be selective about membership in small communities, too.
I guess women are going to have to keep socialising socially inept men – or stand up for their selections and de-selections!

By: Ruth Sutton

Ruth Sutton — Mon, 27 Jul 2015 06:43:06 +0000

Many years ago I was asked to tackle the gender imbalance in secondary school leadership in my local authority. I proposed leadership training and support in women only groups. The idea was criticised by some men, who felt excluded, and some women, who felt insulted. But I went ahead anyway, and my positive expectations were more than fulfilled. In previous groups I had encountered the same male approach as described in this blog post: competitiveness, hogging attention, concerns about status. In the several cohorts of women only groups we ran none of these occurred, and the quality of conversation, listening, reflection and learning was much better. You might suggest that the women meet as a separate group for a trial period and then bring the experience back to the whole group. Or you might simply opt out of the big group for a while and see if anyone joins you. Don’t expect everyone to agree with you: it can be seen as a retrograde step. But your group is big enough to enable sub- groups to form. Treat it as an experiment and discuss the evidence that arises. Such an evidence-driven approach might even satisfy the quantitative men. Good luck.

By: Criss Roberts

Criss Roberts — Mon, 15 Jun 2015 10:26:06 +0000

I am so with you. Wanted to share this as a giggle (It’s not mine.) The title: Jane Austin Gets Feedback from the Guy in her Workshop.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/shannonreed/jane-austen-receives-feedback-from-tim-a-guy-in-her-mfa-work?utm_term=.xdMgOg0nd#.xqaA5RK9BD

By: Mary Ellen Latela

Mary Ellen Latela — Thu, 19 Mar 2015 23:17:31 +0000

Dear Sue,
When I read the phrase, “some are retired, some are working,” I jumped! I have been in groups with retired male (clergy) and working female (clergy) and it’s as if we are from different planets. The guys want to pontificate; the women want to share and learn. Of course I am generalizing, but it seems to hold true that men cling to their “professional standing” while women hold on to – lightly – their personal growth. One particular time, introductions of a new groups took a full forty minutes, as the men “talked over” the others. I think firmness is required. Get a separate space for the men as an experiment. See what happens. In another group where one member was very unruly, we asked the facilitator to keep the group “structured” and that worked very well. Best wishes, @LatelaMary (US)

By: Jo Carroll

Jo Carroll — Fri, 03 Oct 2014 07:56:20 +0000

I belong to a mixed group – with just two men. One is quietly spoken, waits till he has something he needs to say and drops it in respectfully. The other is louder, blustery, and assumes a right to speak first and be heard. The problem, as I see it, is he has no insight into this – if challenged he denies it; intellectually he’s respectful of women etc, but he has still be socialised to do the macho thing. I tend to let it go, most of the time, as it would get in the way of talking about the writing if I took him on every time it happens.

By: Suzanne Brazil

Suzanne Brazil — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 22:19:20 +0000

The experiences seem to vary widely and some have no issue with mixed groups. Your experience seems clear and it’s a shame to deal with such trepidation when you should have only excitement and a longing to share. I’ve been looking for a new writer’s group myself and it seems finding a good fit isn’t always easy. It sounds like your plan to seek out (or maybe split into) a female-only group might be what your creative soul desires.

I think it’s a fairly common thing – some of us are comfortable in mixed company and some of us prefer to socialize along gender lines for the most part.

Your reflection on the age members of the group (as a throw back to when men would have cigars separately from the women) was interesting. Maybe it’s not just a gender but a generational issue?

Best of luck to you in finding a space where you and your writing can flourish!

By: Misha

Misha — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 09:58:47 +0000

This is certainly not true at Renegade Writers. Although the men outnumber the women, the women are as vocal, often more so than the men. Nor does status appear to matter, even among those who have been published professionally. What we are concerned with is the quality of the work and how to improve it. I know this is unusual in mixed groups, but perhaps it is because we are indeed renegades that it works this way for us.

By: Anne Leigh Parrish

Anne Leigh Parrish — Mon, 15 Sep 2014 15:32:41 +0000

I think you’re right about the presence of men in a group – it does change the dynamic entirely, not necessarily for the worst, but still. I think your idea of another group with just women would be excellent. Women writers have different concerns – and they’re treated very differently in the marketplace, for sure.

By: Sue Hewitt, author - The Cunning Woman's Cup

Sue Hewitt, author - The Cunning Woman's Cup — Mon, 08 Sep 2014 12:46:04 +0000

Thank you all for your responses to this, my first ever blog. It is heartening to read your replies, and to read the discussion on the Women Writers Women’s Books face book page. My workshop begins again tomorrow, and I hope that an influx of new female members will have a calming effect on our male members. Time will tell.