What Called Me to Write Not You, My Memoir by Megan Harris Madramootoo

What Called Me to Write Not You, My Memoir

Megan Harris Madramootoo

I love writing and I love helping others. I worked with bone marrow transplant patients for almost 19 years as I took care of my children and finished college. Now I write and teach, and through those I am able to fulfill my passion for giving back to others.

Not to give the memoir away before it hits bookshelves, but the short story behind the reason I felt called to write this memoir, Not You, is that I lived in a maternity home, had several children outside of wedlock, and fell into the mire of mental disease. However, I’m here today to show other women that whatever toxicity they’ve found themselves in, they can (and must) get out, for the sake of themselves, and especially their children. It is my prayer that my memoir will be a testimony of that.

Without realizing it at the time, I was first called to begin writing Not You: A Memoir when I was at the tail end of receiving my Associate’s degree. That was roughly about 12 years ago, and before I even knew I was going to write a memoir, I was penning short essays here and there as a means of coping and finding closure to the hardships I was experiencing at the time (most of which are described in the book). When I began my bachelor’s program, I continued studying English as a major while also continuing my writing, but since I was studying English Literature I didn’t have the time to focus on my creative writing, as most of my writing during that period was more academic in nature.

I knew I wanted to find a career using my English degrees and I knew I wanted to help others, but had no idea where I was headed. In 2016, I decided to go back to school and get my master’s in English and Creative Writing. It was during this program that I found exactly where I needed to be, finding the means and space necessary to hone my writing craft. My creative writing cohort at Southern New Hampshire University consisted of about ten of us students, complete with writing professors who were professionals at their craft. By the time I began putting together my master’s thesis, a collection of personal essays, I had found a place of healing from past mistakes and challenges, and was now able to write from a place of honest and objective reflection.

I graduated in May of 2019 and had my first essay published that June. It was at this time that I took a hard look at my collection and decided to turn it into a memoir. I came to the conclusion that this collection had to be a book, a memoir, specifically, if it was going to effectively do what I needed it to do– and that was to help other women either avoid or get out of what I’ve described in this narrative. The “mere” collection of essays wouldn’t have done the book justice if I didn’t find the strength, creativity, and endurance to finish the whole story.

It took me almost five years to finish Not You, and nearly two years for it to be accepted for publication. I took the traditional publishing route: spent the bulk of my free time researching agents and publishers; I also sent out hundreds of query letters, waiting for someone, anyone, to give me a chance. There were times when I got severely frustrated by the lack of acceptance, putting a pause on the search as I re-gathered my confidence to begin all over again.  I was finally accepted by Apprentice House Press, an imprint of Loyola University in Baltimore, Maryland in March of 2023.

My experience with Apprentice House Press has been rewarding and eye-opening. Since they are entirely student-run, I’ve gotten to learn more about the publishing world from everyone who works there as they’ve included me in the whole process thus far, from editing the manuscript to working with the design team. I was also able to enlist the expertise of a publicist, making this process even that much more exciting and glamorous, if you will. 

My experience writing Not You has been convoluted, exciting, frustrating, ugly, and sometimes just downright discouraging. But I’ve finally arrived at a place of wellness, acceptance, and total unapologetic-ness, and if I can use my words that describe turmoil and trauma, but also resilience and perseverance to help someone else, I will be able to consider this journey finally complete.

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Having begun Not You as part of her master’s thesis while attending Southern New Hampshire University, Megan Harris M. is now working on her PhD in English, with a concentration in Creative Writing and a minor in Literary Theory at Morgan State University in Baltimore, MD. She also serves as an Instructor of Record for their Department of English. Her creative works usually include pieces of her past that she uses to help others who’ve experienced the same, as well as some academic projects that explore the lasting effects of colonialism and sexism. On a normal evening, you can find her typing rhythmically away, a glass of Merlot close by her side as she listens to the hypnotic sounds of jazz floating in the background. She is the mother of five children and resides in Maryland, just south of the city of Baltimore. Not You: A Memoir releases with Apprentice House Press May 7, 2024. See more at meganharrism.com. —

NOT YOU

Shortly after graduating high school, Megan purposefully conceives a child in one of many failed attempts to secure the acceptance she desperately wants from anyonewho would offer. She soon finds herself in a variety of dire straits that includes 12 months in a maternity home and her subsequent surrender to mental illness.

It would take the births of three more childrento finally find the self-respect necessary to become the responsible mother her children deserved. Not You: a memoir details the struggles of a single mother who has the task of overcoming the self-loathing that imprisons her inside of one bad choice after another. For the woman who has been mocked and abused, has lost a baby, lost herself, or has lost her community due to decisions she’s felt were necessary, this memoir will appeal to anyone who has had to find the courage to love themselves first.

www.goodreads.com/book/show/204870642-not-you

www.amazon.com/Not-You-Megan-Harris-M/dp/1627205322 https://bookshop.org/p/books/not-you-megan-harris-m/21092544?ean=9781627205313 

 

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Category: Contemporary Women Writers