A New Take on #MeToo: On Writing What We Never Say

A New Take on #MeToo: On Writing What We Never Say

By Paulette Stout

The #MeToo movement unfolded before our horrified eyes. It was an abomination many suspected—or outright knew–was happening—but did nothing to intervene. Yet hidden within that darkness were still more stories. Tragic stories of abused men, each sounding eerily familiar.

Unlike the support women received, these male survivors stepped forward into a barrage of snickers, insults and unseemly remarks about their claims being anatomically impossible. This stuck me as so very wrong. We all have friends, brothers, fathers and husbands—men in our lives who we want to feel safe, healthy and whole. How would we feel if one of them had similarly suffered?

The more I learned about the issue of male victims, the more shocked I became. The CDC reports that 1 in 10 men are forced into unwanted sexual contact in their lifetimes. Given study methodology, advocates believe that number could be as high as 1 in 6. This type of abuse happens in all walks of life, at the hands of partners, acquaintances, employers and others of all genders, occurring everywhere from the boardroom to the stock room to the military. Yet, few resources exist for this male population which many don’t know or believe exists. I interviewed one crisis center director who lamented she couldn’t do more for male victims since resources were already stretched thin helping women.

I wondered what people would think if they knew more? How we as a society would react if a powerful woman forced herself on a man? Would we hold her accountable? Do we have the capacity to support male survivors? These swirling questions prompted me to write What We Never Say. 

Set in Manhattan against the backdrop of high-stakes fashion publishing, What We Never Say explores this unique #MeToo dynamic, featuring a male survivor and a powerful woman as the assailant. The main character, Kyle, is in a committed relationship, but kept his painful history hidden from the woman he loves. This is all too common with survivors, who often turn to drinking and drugs to dull memories of painful experiences they’re too ashamed to share.

When writing the book, I wanted to show all sides, the survivor, his loved ones, and the aggressor. Writing a villain like Jane Stewart was complex, and not one I tackled until my editor requested it. Jane is the Executive Editor of a fictional Vogue-like magazine called MOD, and there is a lot to admire about Jane. She has succeeded for decades in a male-dominated industry, rising to become the most powerful woman in fashion. We can understand both her loneliness and ambition. Yet, she must be held accountable. 

What We Never Say opened an important conversation about a difficult topic. I’m so pleased that the majority of readers are able to see that supporting male survivors is important and distinct from the vital work supporting abused women. We can, and must, do both. By exploring these issues in the realm of fiction, readers can experience stories through multiple lenses and form their own opinions.

Readers of contemporary fiction want to be both entertained and enlightened. It’s why so many enjoy historical genres, where they can enjoy a story while learning about another place and time. They’re joyful beneficiaries of painstaking author research. In a similar vein, my contemporary stories enable me to dive into topics I find both important and neglected. For example, my first novel explored the topic of women’s intimacy as never before seen in women’s fiction. Both empowering and vital, the messages I’ve received showed how important to explore women in all dimensions. My current WIP will address race and class in a similar way by exploring the identity, professional legal career and lived experience of a Black female protagonist. My role as a writer is to focus on telling important stories and asking important questions.

With What We Never Say, I do risk ruffling a few feathers. Women have had to fight so hard for every morsel achieved in our society that seeking empathy for male survivors may seem a curious ask. Yet, I am asking. And I’ve been blessed to receive such an overwhelmingly positive response. Readers are open to hearing and learning sometihng new. It’s how we grow as humans. It’s how we do better. Supporting sexual assault survivors, all of them, can move us to a place where this behavior will no longer be tolerated. 

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Paulette Stout is the fearless author of women’s fiction that tackles taboo topics too long ignored. Her debut, Love, Only Better, is a relatable and empowering story readers are calling a “must read.” Her follow-up, What We Never Say, explores a ripped-from-the-headlines topic with a surprising, new twist.

Born in Manhattan, Paulette is the gold-star wordsmith and owner of her content marketing agency, Media Goddess Inc., where she crafts content for her list of global clients. Prior to MGI, Paulette led content and design teams at several tech companies, and one educational publisher where her elimination of the Oxford comma caused a near riot.

Paulette’s prior career as a media buyer/planner in New York earned her three industry awards, including a MediaWeek All-Star.

You can usually find Paulette rearranging words into pleasing patterns while wearing grammar t-shirts. Either that, or texting pictures of something she’s whipped up in her kitchen to her two adult kids while her husband rolls his eyes.

Follow Paulette on Twitter @StoutContent

Find out more about her on her website https://paulettestout.com/

WHAT WE NEVER SAY

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Tags: featured, women writers

Category: On Writing